Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she peed on how many people?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize