what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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