i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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