he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
