Having a random hookup so left but love u
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
