You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize