just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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