i jhust puked up my retainher.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
