Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
