5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
