she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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