So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
