i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
