How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My dick has a subreddit
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I supernannyed him into submission
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
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