Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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