So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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