Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize