i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
