Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
