either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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