margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
