do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
