That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My boob is missing a layer of skin
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
