If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
