all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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