we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
