There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
