Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I looked at my own cervix.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
