Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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