What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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