I heard we made out
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
