cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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