well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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