Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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