He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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