I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
