Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
my shit smells like andre
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
