Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
