dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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