pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
