I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
