I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My breasts were aching with rage.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
