Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
