he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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