First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
