Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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