super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
