Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
