When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
it's like iHOP with fire
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
party gras won. party gras always wins.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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