also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
