I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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