Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
