walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
