He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize