If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
