Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
