I want to make a zoo with you.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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