I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I need to calm my uterus...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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