wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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