I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
