drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
