I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
