This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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