smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
