She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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