There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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