just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
there was a trapeze. enough said
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
