shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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