I think my vagina is haunted
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize