the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
