I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
