Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Randomize