You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
