no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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